Forced Vacation
by Ryeflight
Summary: When a battle with Klarion goes wrong, Hawkwoman, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Red Arrow and the team are transported to a cabin in Canada, Klarion also de-ages the league members to 18. Then Cheshire shows up. Takes place in the summer after the they defeat the Light. Pairings are Spitfire, Chalant, Supermartian, Aquarocket and Cheshroy.
1. Prologue

Wally never even saw Klarion's spell, which was unusual because Klarion was rather showboaty. He preferred to publically decapitate you then give you a lethal injection in your sleep. So when Wally felt like he was being turned inside out, he was confused. It didn't hurt, but it was extremely nauseating, and as Rob would say, heavy on the naus. As soon as he felt solid ground beneath his feet, he almost threw up, but realized that on his left was Artemis, his right was GA and Batman and Wonder Woman were in front and behind him, respectively. Wally was pretty sure that you weren't supposed to throw up on your girlfriend, GA already wanted a reason to kill him, he was terrified of pissing Wonder Woman off, and Batman . . . was Batman.

Wally blinked the spots of light from his eyes, trying to figure out what had happened. Then he heard Batman.

"Computer: Identify location."

"Location identified: Southeast Canada, 50.3695 miles from Vermont border."

Wally blinked. They had been teleported to Canada? Why on Earth would Klarion do that . . .

"Hey, how come your phone works?! Mine just says "no signal"!" Barry's loud explanation made more than a few people jump.

"Does your phone run explicitly off watchtower satellite signals?" Rob's smirk was just as self-satisfied as usual. Barry's face made his answer clear. "That's what I thought."

Wally ran a quick list in his head. Out of the people who had been fighting Klarion and his stupid friends, the entire team, Hawkwoman, Flash, Superman, GA, Black Canary, Wonder Woman, Batman and Roy had been teleported as well. He was about to ask why Klarion would do this, assuming that Batman would have some answer that no one understood anyway when an old fashioned paper scroll appeared in the middle of the room and began to speak.

 **A/N I know it's really short, but this is just the prologue, I promise the actual chapters will be longer.**


	2. ROY WILLIAM HARPER!

Artemis winced at the sound of Klarion's voice, she really hated that guy, he had turned the team into cats more than once.

"Teekl and I are sick of you interfering with our fun, so we've sent you away on a forced vacation. In this cabin you will find bedding, clothes, wallets of various League and team members, and everything else you need to survive for two months! And don't even think of leaving, nothing can get through the barrier, and I mean nothing Batman."

Silence fell, total and complete. Sixteen brains were trying to process what Klarion had just said.

"Did he say two months? As in 60-62 days? As in my whole damn Summer!?"

"Language Wally." Ollie was glaring at Wally through slitted eyes.

"Oh, you're one to talk." Roy snickered.

Artemis sighed to herself. Obviously her mentor was still suffering from the crazy idea that he could cause her to break up with Wally by glaring at him. she opened her mouth to speak when the scroll cut her off.

"Oh, and I almost forgot, a parting gift for the dear old Justice League."

That didn't sound good. Neither did the snake-like ribbon of red light that the scroll turned into, which had surrounded every JL member in the room. Then, before even Wally could move it was gone, leaving a disturbingly Robin-like cackle in its wake. Something was definitely different about their mentors. They were shorter and . . . younger looking? Artemis wasn't sure what had happened until Batman's computer, seriously how many things could that thing do, announced "Scan complete. Scan results: unidentified mystical force caused biological de-aging by an average of 12.5 years. Calculated age is 18."

"Wait, if we were de-aged by 12.5 years than the team is . . . their normal ages?" Ollie then voiced what Artemis assumed the entire Justice League was thinking.

"KLARION!" Maybe it was the look on his face. Maybe it was the fact that their mentors were now frantically trying to find a mirror. Maybe it was just the hilarity of the situation. Either way, that comment was the last straw for the team. They all burst out laughing, clutching their sides and doubling over. Robin and Wally had actually fallen to the floor and were choking and gasping. The appalled looks on Superman's, Barry's and Ollie's faces probably weren't helping either. Then Barry disappeared, and reappeared in about 3 seconds.

"Making sure I've still got my speed. Did you know there's a pond here?"

Barry's comment was followed by fourteen what?s and two yes.s. (Guess who knew and who didn't. Hint: They like skulking)

"Why would Klarion de-age us, besides causing humiliation and confusion?" SUperman's question went unanswered for a few moments before Kaldur spoke up.

"Perhaps it is meant to interfere with the purchasing of alcoholic beverages."

Artemis wasn't sure she believed what she had just heard. Not the words, but the fact that Kaldur had been the one to bring it up.

"Why would his spell interfere with . . . oooh. DAMN IT!" The looks on Ollie's, Barry's, Dinah's, Roy's, Robin's and Wally's faces were priceless, though Dinah regained her composure almost immediately.

"Wait, why are they disappointed? They couldn't have alcohol in the first place." Superman's question referred to Roy, Robin and Wally. Batman then proceeded to walk over to the pile of wallets and purses belonging to various people, pull out the wallets belonging to the three aforementioned boys and begin going through them.

"Fake ID number 1. Fake Driver's license number 1. Fake ID number 2. Illegal club membership number 1. . . ." All the way through "Fake ID number 44". The other two wallets were pretty much the same. Superman had sat down about halfway through and was muttering about bad role models. Ollie had moved to get the rest of the team's, but upon seeing the looks on their faces', even Kaldur's, he thought better of it.

"Oh, now that was just too funny. Tsk, tsk, and you're supposed the goody-two shoes people look up to." At this, everyone, even the two Bats, whipped around to see Cheshire crouched on the railing of the sliding window doors. This action was followed by the shouting of the name Cheshire, with the exception of Roy and Artemis, who seemed more confused than surprised, and said "Jade?"

"Whoa, since when are you on first name terms with my sister?"

"She's your sister?" Roy turned to Cheshire. "Was this not considered relevant!?"

"No, I just think it's much more amusing for you to find out this way." Roy didn't seem to even register her comment. He turned back to Artemis.

"That means you're Sportmaster's daughter!" Artemis facepalmed.

"Does no one tell him anything!? Like I don't know, Superboy's other father is Lex Luthor, M'gann, no offense, really looks like a demon from a horror movie and my family has at the least a _past_ of being criminals?"

"Superboy's other father is Lex Luthor?" At this point, you had to almost pity Roy.

"Uhhhhg." Artemis threw her arms up in the air. "You know what? I'm going for a walk." She stormed out of the room and disappeared up the dirt driveway. Roy turned to Cheshire.

"See what happens when you don't tell me things? Now I have to go play touchy-feely with my girlfriend's sister!" Roy ran out the door after Artemis and was halfway down the driveway before he realized what he'd said.

"Oh, shit."

Ollie was still standing in the middle of the room, trying to process what had just happened. Something about Luthor, which he really didn't want to think about, and something about Martian forms, which still gave him nightmares, and, oh, right, his adopted son was dating an assassin.

"ROY WILLIAM HARPER GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!" Superman was about to tell Ollie to watch his mouth around Conner (The kid had been exposed to a Bat and Wally. He didn't need any more contamination.)and Megan when he realized that Ollie wasn't in the room anymore. Neither was Dinah. Or Robin. Or Wally. Kaldur voiced everyone's thoughts.

"Well, this is a great start."

 **A/N Sorry the chapters are so short. I'm trying to have them be longer, but it's either shorter chapters or longer update gaps. I am working on the third chapter of Symbiosi, I swear it to Batman. And yes, Roy's middle name really is William. Ah, so many ways to annoy Roy.**


	3. Wally, You're an Idiot

Artemis was having a very non-asterous day. First, she had arrived at the cave to find Wally being strangled for running his mouth in hearing-range of GA, then she got teleported to Canada and found out that the second most hated person in her life was dating her sister. (Klarion was at the top of her list. She was going to find him and commit unspeakable torture if she ever saw him again.) She could hear Roy behind her, but for whatever reason he was barefoot, so he was a bit slower than she was. Rocks really don't call for language that bad Roy. Somewhere behind Roy she could hear more voices, two yelling, one sounding rather irritated and thelast having an extremely troll-like sound to it. So GA and Wally were arguing, again, Dinah was about to murder someone and Robin was being a troll.

She had walked down the road until she found the next cabin. Well, remains more like it. The cabin was missing windows, part of the roof had fallen in and the door was hanging at a rather odd angle. Oddly enough, there was a Rave water trampoline in the water in rather good condition. Artemis had climbed down the rock path to the shore, which was only about 10 feet long, with a giant rock on the end. Most of it was grass, with two rusty beach chairs on it. The grass part had a stone wall built into the edge that continued under the shallow water. Artemis sat down on one of the rocks forming the wall, not trusting the chairs, and dropped her head into her hands.

"You know, I think the girls in our family might have a thing for red hair. First Roy and now Wally." Artemis's head snapped up at the sound of a sadly familiar voice.

"You might have mentioned to me that you're dating my . . . " Artemis wasn't sure what her relationship to Roy was. "My friend." She finished lamely. "Speaking of which, how did you get here?"

"In answer to both questions, I've got my own secrets little sis." Artemis really hated that nickname. Even more than Baby Girl. She turned her head at the sound of someone quite possibly falling down the steps.

"Artemis . . . sorry . . . meant to tell you . . . didn't know she . . . was your sister." Roy was doubled over and panting, as well as looking rather bruised.

"What the hell happened to you?!"

"Fell down . . . stairs going . . .too fast . . . had to beat . . . Ollie and Dinah . . . Ollie's on the warpath." That made sense. Distant shouts could now be heard, probably arguing about the direction Roy and Artemis had gone. Then Artemis saw a streak of color followed by Wally and Robin appearing. Wally dropped Robin off his back and glared at Roy.

"Dude, not cool- '

"Yeah, really Roy this is so not asterous-"

"You're supposed to be our friend-"

"You could have told us you have a girlfriend-"

"MY girlfriend's sister no less-"

"Now your mentor is very chalant-"

"You are so dead-"

"Haven't seen him this angry since-"

"-he found out we were dating." Wally jerked his head in the direction of Artemis.

"ENOUGH! If you two could give me one minute to explain, and for once in your lives just SHUT UP, maybe you would get an answer!" Normally, Artemis knew, Wally and Rob would not stand there and get yelled at by anyone less scary than Batman. However, she sensed that they knew Roy's yelling was more because of panic than anger. His world was about to come crashing down around his head, if he still had his head after Ollie was through with him. When Ollie had found out she was dating Wally, he had quite literally tried to feed her boyfriend to Wolf.

"You had better have a good explanation Roy, or I swear I will break your bow over your head." Even Robin winced at the look on Ollie's face. Batman was scary, but even he never looked that murderous. Well, maybe he had that one time that he, Wally and Roy had crashed the batmobile, but that was the only time. (Long story)

"You people do realize we're on someone else's property, right?" Dinah looked rather frazzled, but no less angry.

"Yeah, because it totally looks like they spend a lot of time here." Ollie didn't say anything, but he glared in Wally's direction and made a less than comforting gesture with his bow.

"Back on topic, my love life is none of your business. The only person I owe any sort of apology to is Artemis." Roy now looked almost as angry as Ollie.

"Yes, your life is my business, you're my son!"

"ADOPTED son!"

"How about we just calm down here . . ." Robin was worried that someone was going to snap, either mentally, or the other person's neck.

"Watch out Richie, those two have anger management issues. Last time they got into a fight, it took quite a bit of money from both Mr. Queen's and your billionaire playboy mentor's bank accounts to cover property damage discreetly." At this point, Robin was choking on air.

" _She knew, how in the world did she know . . ."_ Then it clicked.

"ROY!" Both Ollie and Robin looked furious, while Artemis glared at Robin.

"You little troll! 'We'll laugh about this someday', I am going to murder you! You and your overly paranoid mentor! That's how you knew I was lying when I said I was Ollie's niece! Oh, you are so very dead Richard John Grayson!" Dick backed away from the livid archer. Batman was really going to kill him, right after he stuck Roy's head on one of the fence posts of Wayne manor.

"As hilarious as this is, we might want to put on, how to say, less recognizable clothing before someone sees us."

"I hate to admit it, but the assassin has a point. We really don't need to advertise the fact that there are 16 superheroes hanging around Canada." Dinah had calmed down a bit, but from the looks she was shooting Roy, they were going to be having words later.

"BRB" Wally disappeared.

"You know, that's only slightly better than saying back in a flash." Dick peeked out from behind the only person not currently wanting him dead, Cheshire. How ironic. The assassin was the only person who didn't want him dead.

"What the-" Artemis was suddenly wearing her normal civilian outfit, sans jacket and boots. Wally proceeded to dump civilian clothes into the arms of the other people standing on shore. Wally grinned. He had changed into a T-shirt and shorts.

"I am perfectly capable of changing my own clothes Baywatch." Artemis wasn't so much annoyed as worried. Ollie's eye was twitching. Not a good sign. Neither was the fact that when he spoke he sounded totally calm.

"You changed my protege's clothes." Any member of the Arrow family knew that when Ollie sounded like that, the best and frankly only option was to beg forgiveness and run like hell. Wally was not a member of the Arrow family, and chose the absolute worst option. Arrogance.

"I had my eyes closed, and besides, it's nothing I haven't seen before."

"WALLY!" Artemis's face was now red from both anger and embarrassment.

"That's it you little punk! DIE!" Ollie tried to grab Wally, but the speedster seemed to have figured out that his life was in danger. He was standing on top of the water trampoline watching Ollie fearfully.

"Right, I'll just be right back." Ollie, who had somehow changed within 5 seconds without anyone noticing started wading out into the water.

 **A/N I know that Ollie doesn't really hate Wally, but it's much funnier to pretend he does. And yes, Ollie can now magically change clothes because plot convenience gave him that superpower. I'm alternating posting chapters for both stories, so it may be a little while. I know, I'm a horrible person. Oh and I realized that I forgot to do the whole disclaimer thing, so here's Moodles.**

 **Moodles: She doesn't own Young Justice. If she did, Wally would be alive and teen titans go would be dead. (No, we won't capitalize it.) Also, I was the one who came up with the idea for this story.**

 **Me: No, you weren't.**

 **Moodles: Yes. I was.**

 **Me: No. You weren't. This is my story.**

 **Moodles: It was born from my question.**

 **Me: This story wasn't born from the question"How would Batman toast his marshmallows?"**

 **Moodles: Fine. It was born from the following conversation.**

 **Me: No, it wasn't. Nor was it born from your weird dreams about spinning pink Batmans.**

 **Moodles: That was your fault. I blame you.**

 **Me: Too bad. It's my story, you're only here to write the disclaimer.**

 **Moodles: I know where you live.**

 **Me: Good for you. You also know that two police officers live across the street.**

 **Moodles: Damn it.**

 **Don't ask me about what my friends and I do, and I won't ask you what you do with your friends.**

 **Moodles: Calling those ambulances really was an overreaction.**

 **Me: People these days, they see you waving your arms while standing on top of an overturned canoe and automatically assume you need help.**

 **P.S. If you want to see the place that the story is based on, google "MT. Tom Pond CT"**


	4. Batman May be 18, But He's Still Scary

Artemis, Dinah, Roy and Jade had watched him go. This wasn't going to end well. Wally had been lured off the float with insults and taunts. Artemis wanted to slap her boyfriend, seriously, who could possibly be that stupid. She realized that if she didn't intervene, her mentor was going to hospitalize Wally, at the least. That, and the fact that Roy had been giving her weird looks ever since the remark about "nothing I haven't seen before", were the reasons she was now soaking wet from trying to keep her mentor from drowning Kid Idiot. She had decided that he had fully earned that nickname. Roy and Dinah had been helping her at first, but after one too many smart remarks from Roy, Dinah had snapped. Her sister was now trying to separate them before one turned homicidal, and Dick was alternating between irritating the three and helping Jade. Artemis was about to try and call a timeout when she was sent flying by a now almost literally steaming Green Arrow. " _Oh, this is going to hurt"_

She was right. Upon impact with the water, she thought she had broken her back. Water wasn't supposed to hurt like this. She was going to have words with Wally. Very, very angry words. She stayed where she was, content to wait for the burning sensation in her back to fade away. She would have too, if she hadn't suddenly been yanked out of the water and dropped on the bouncy float. She was alone for about two seconds, then was joined by Roy, then Dick, then her sister and finally her terrified boyfriend. Roy and Dick had already pulled up the ladder and were in the process of working on the anchor, glancing fearfully over their shoulders.

"Got it!" Roy dumped a giant cinder block onto the trampoline.

"Damnit Wally! I need my belt and they need their arrows!"

"If you wouldn't mind, my weapons might prove useful." Wally had already vanished and was currently dumping various sharp objects onto the float.

"Hurry Dick! They're coming!" Wally had never looked this scared. Not even when Batman caught him painting the batmobile pink.

"Geez, calm down, it's not easy to rig a bomb powered motor!" Dick was bent over his utility belt shoving things together and attaching them with duct tape.

"There! That should get us at least back near the cabin, if it doesn't explode." Dick's hand vanished through the springs and reappeared with a remote.

"Just got to wire this."

"What in the world is going on!? EXPLODE!?" Artemis was bewildered. And rather worried that she was going to blow up. Roy shot a near perfect Batglare at Wally.

"Kid Mouth made a rather unwarranted remark about certain, um . . . _activities_ taking place frequently in Dinah's and Ollies, ahem _private_ lives." Understanding dawned on Artemis. She facepalmed and just sighed.

"Why, WHY would you say that!? Just WHY!? Do you have a deathwish? I prefer my boyfriends alive thank you very much." Wally at least had the decency to look ashamed.

"I may have gone a little too far in the heat of the moment." Wally's voice got quieter with each word.

"On a different note, apparently when you prefer your boyfriends, you really- " Whatever dirty-minded remark Roy was about to make, he was cut off by Dick's machine starting and causing the float to begin moving at approximately the speed of sound. OK, maybe that was an exaggeration. The sudden acceleration caused everyone on the float to grab any nearby material and hang on like their life depended, which it kind of did. Just as suddenly as it started, the movement ended. The motor Dick had made gave a little cough, and just continued to sputter uselessly. Artemis, Roy, Wally, Jade and Dick were dumped rather suddenly back onto the float. Artemis sat up, rubbing her head. First her back, now her head. What a great day. Well, at least she could get a few things straight.

"OK Roy Joy, if I hear one more perverted remark out of you, I'm going to tell our Dad that Jade is dating a red-headed hero. Dick, you're life is going to be hell until I deem your sentence served." Artemis now turned to her boyfriend, who was slowly inching backwards.

"This is in case we die." She slapped him in the face. "You are the biggest idiot I have ever met." Artemis then grabbed him and kissed him. "And I love you anyway."

"Ahem, not to interrupt this _touching_ moment, but why should anyone but Wally be afraid of our pursuers?" Jade had a rather amused expression on her face. Artemis turned to glare at her, her sister was not in a good position to be insulting her love life.

"And in answer: Wally had the presence of mind to mention that he had found out that flattering piece of information from the two of us." Roy indicated Artemis and himself. "Dinah isn't feeling particularly loving towards me right now, and, well, Ollie has suddenly remembered every time Dick was a troll." Artemis made sure her breathing was under control before turning back to Wally.

"You told my mentor and our martial arts instructor that Roy and I had been complaining about their sex lives?" The fact that her voice was barely audible warned Wally not to reply. At all. Roy didn't get the memo.

"Artemis! Language! Little child here!" Roy indicated Dick, who glared at him in response.

"Oh, you're right, better not contaminate the mind of the little child who lives in Gotham, has a billionaire playboy for a mentor and father, leads a double life as second in command of a not-so-covert team of teenage superheroes and whose two best friends are either dirty-mouthed ginger demons who are dating assassins or are the world's most perverted sixteen year old. What a horrible crime that would be." That was possibly the most angry and sarcastic Roy had ever heard Artemis. Jade was trying to hide a grin at the look of terror on Roy's face.

"Perhaps we ought to send up a signal flare? We are right in front of the cabin. Alsom Mr. Queen and Ms. Lance are rather fast swimmers." Jade was going to enjoy these next two months.

Artemis and Roy both turned to look at her, realizing at the same moment that throughout this situation, the person causing the least trouble and remaining the most clear-minded was a flirtatious League of Shadows operative. These next two months were going to end badly. They shrugged. They could deal with Wally, they should be able to deal with two months. Both of them grabbed their arrows and began firing signal flares, only to realize that someone (Dick) had changed the normal flare to a glittery version of the symbols for everyone on the float. Greeeaaat.

"Guys, shoot faster! They're gaining, and no one in the cottage is responding!" Wally seemed to have forgotten that the two people he was begging to shoot pointy objects faster had plans to do horrible things to him for putting them in this situation in the first place. Then a grappling hook arrow looped onto the trampoline's springs. A green grappling hook arrow. A green, double edged grappling hook arrow. With a long rope attached to it. A rope that was quickly sent slack by a series of small explosions coming from behind them. This was followed by the appearance of two livid adults on the trampoline. Roy, Artemis, Wally and Dick began slowly backing away.

"GET THEM!" Ollie and Dinah ran at the teenagers, who forgot that they were now standing on the edge of the float, and promptly fell into the water, followed by the adults.

Jade was the only one who remained on the float, since no one was actually angry with her. She was starting to feel a little guilty, since you could technically say that the situation was her fault, as it had started when she showed up. Which really was an accident, she had been deflecting a knife from hitting Roy when an explosion sent her flying. When Klarion cast his spell, she was still in the affected area, and had fallen into a pile of leaves in the woods outside the cabin. Basically, she was stuck here just as much as the rest of them, not that she was going to make that common knowledge. She began to look at the motor that the Boy Wonder had rigged, maybe she could get it going again, that might distract GA and BC from killing her sister and her boyfriend.

Artemis was currently on her mentor's back, trying to pry his arms away from Wally's neck. Wally was shouting what she thought was shouting what might have been encouragement, or pleading. Strangled gasps sounded pretty much the same to her. Roy was doing his best to avoid being drowned by Dinah, and Dick was trying to reason with the vexed woman. Artemis wasn't having too much luck with Ollie, shooting arrows gives you strong arms, and Ollie had been doing it a lot longer than she had. Wally's face was turning red. Damnit, usually someone managed to stop her mentor, because in this state of mind reasoning didn't work. She was starting to worry that he might actually kill her boyfriend. This was the thought going through her mind when she, Wally and her mentor were thrown into the air. " _Not again."_

As it turned out, Jade could not fix the motor. What she could do, apparently, was cause it to explode. She was sent flying, along with everyone else in the water, and could only watch as the float went flying end over end through the air until it fell back into the water, roughly where it was in the first place.

Artemis was trying to prepare herself for the pain, when instead of hitting what felt like cement but was water, she was dropped onto the dock. She was joined by everybody but Ollie and Dinah, who had just resurfaced and were looking rather confused, and appeared to be in extreme pain. Wally had apparently had the presence of mind to start running before he hit the water, so he had managed to transport them back to the dock. He was now doubled over and panting, which wasn't surprising, since he probably hadn't eaten since before the battle.

"Why would you make the motor explode? WHY!?" Dick looked more angry about the fact that the motor had exploded than the fact that he had been sent flying.

"It was an accident! I was trying to fix it!" This was the first time Artemis had seen her sister even close to frazzled.

"Ollie and Dinah, swimming this way!" Roy knew that Batman's protection was a rock path away, and he was going to take it. The teens looked at each other, than began scrambling for the path. Upon reaching the porch, they were met with the rather mixed reactions of their non-homicidal mentors and teammates. Wally was immediately grabbed by his uncle, who began a tirade of speed-talking that no one understood.

"OhmygodweweresoworriedIheardalltheseexplosionsandthenwecouldhearallthisyellingwhatdidyoudothistimeOllietriedtofeedyoutoWolfoncehewon'thesitatetodoitagainyoushouldthankArtemisforputtingupwithyouit'ssosadthere'snothinginthefridgeand-" Barry was cut off by Batman.

"What did you do?" It was definitely question, but it was delivered with such a deadpan, you could have mistaken it for a statement.

"WE did nothing, Kid Idiot on the other hand-" Roy never got to finish his sentence.

"ME!? I said I was sorry, and it wasn't me Dinah was trying to drown-"

"Yes you KF, if it weren't for you Ollie wouldn't have been trying to kill us in the first place-"

"Oh, yes because I was the one who got him angry by being a troll-"

"For once the idiot has a good point, you do love to antagonize-"

"Don't you start, this whole thing was caused by you keeping secrets, then you went and told and assassin my secret identity-"

"My, you people are dysfunctional aren't you-"

"ENOUGH!" Artemis had had it. She had been kept in the dark about her sister's love life, caused extreme back pain by her mentor, dragged across a pond, embarrassed by her boyfriend, soaked to the bone, and now they were yelling again.

Surprisingly, it was M'gann who broke the silence.

"What's Dick Grayson doing here?" One by one, every person in the room turned to look at Dick, who realizing that KF had never given him sunglasses, jerked his thumb at Roy and said;

"It's his fault Batman. He told Jade, Jade called me Richie, Artemis put two and two together, KF never gave me sunglasses and now everyone knows." Roy's face drained of all color as Batman turned to him. Then he bolted back down to the dock. Better a homicidal Ollie and Dinah than an angry Batman.

"Wait, how would Dick Grayson know Batman unless . . . Bruce Wayne is Batman!" M'gann was quite literally the only happy person in the room at that moment. Jade was holding her sister back from strangling Wally, Dick was holding his head in his hands, the JL looked uncomfortable, and the rest of the team was staring at Dick, who they now realized was Robin, with newfound interest. Then the explosions down at the dock began.

 **A/N I know Jade isn't that polite, but she's being sarcastic the entire time. OK, that's my excuse. Just pretend there was a time skip of a few minutes at the beginning and the rest of them changed somewhere because I couldn't fit in without it being really awkward.**


	5. Family Talk

Perhaps Artemis would have thrown Wally off the porch. Perhaps Batman would have found Roy. Perhaps M'gann would have gone on to reveal everyone's secrets. But instead, Ollie and Dinah appeared, dragging Roy by the ear.

"Family-and significant other- talk NOW!" Dinah looked ready to explode, and even Batman backed away.

"You heard her, Artemis, Wally, Jade, come with us, NOW!" The three teenagers glanced at each other, then at the murderous Leaguers. They decided their only option had been made pretty clear, though Wally still ended up walking hidden behind Artemis.

None of them were excited about having a "talk". Ollie picked a random room at the end of the porch, which unfortunately turned out to only contain a bed, spiderweb covered chair, a small dresser and an antique lamp. So Roy instantly grabbed the chair, and when Artemis and Jade sat on the bed, Wally instantly appeared cowering behind Artemis. Standing did not improve Ollie and Dinah's moods.

"We are supposed to be a family-no, Roy, I don't care if you're only adopted. So, since we have become, in a matter of an hour, more dysfunctional than Artemis's annual family gathering, we are going to have a talk." Dinah glared at each one of them in turn causing them to shrink down, Artemis's doing so causing Wally to be revealed, leading to him instantly ducking and covering his head.

"Subject one: We do not want to hear, nor do we have any interest in, outside of making sure none of you are pregnant, in your sex lives. Do not bring them up, do not discuss them with us, and DO NOT USE THEM AS ANTAGONISTIC WEAPONS! Is that clear?" Dinah's voice had become disturbingly calm at the end of her sentence, and only the slightly maniacal expression on her face betrayed the danger of crossing her. A chorus of yeses followed her question, no one wanting her to repeat it. Wally was trying to avoid Ollie's glare.

"Subject 1a: You are not under any circumstances to mock OUR sex lives, either to our faces or behind our backs. If we hear one more insulting word out of any of you on this subject, a punishment equal in horror to your personal worst nightmare will take place repeatedly until we feel you have gotten the message. Clear?" Ollie's comment was directed at Roy, Artemis and what could be seen of Wally. Not surprisingly, the first to respond was Wally, who seemed to have realized that Ollie was fully capable and willing of dragging him down to the dock, cutting him into tiny pieces, and feeding him to the fish.

"Subject two: Your private lives, on the other hand, including but not limited to dating, activities outside of being a hero, school, home life, family activities and where the hell you are, are not optional subjects. Unless you have a Batman approved reason for not telling us, these are not to be kept secret. We will probably flip, but if you keep them secret, we will feed you to Wolf. Wally, Jade, for any activity connected to Artemis or Roy, the same thing goes. Especially you Wally, we don't trust you. Or rather, I don't trust you. I trust the assassin more than you, because as far as I know, and please do not correct me on this if I am wrong, she has never destroyed my house, crashed my car, or opened the possibility that one of my proteges is going to be a parent." Ollie was glaring at Wally, who had been forced to make eye contact.

"Um, just for the record, I'm not pregnant. Wally had a-"

"Remember subject 1? Keep it that way, and unless you broke up with Wally, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Ollie's eyebrow was twitching as he tried to smile, which didn't make him look any less like the Joker on steroids.

"Subject three: Since we are stuck here for two months, it can be assumed that we are going to have to sleep. None of you are allowed to sleep next to your significant other, nor are you and that person allowed to be behind a closed door together. If you are wearing pajamas around that person, they must be actual clothes, not your underwear. Underwear is not to be worn as a bathing suit, nor are any of you allowed to be wearing less clothes than a normal person longer than strictly necessary. Hands are kept to yourselves, not up your girlfriend's shirt. Any inappropriate touching what-so-ever and one of you will be sleeping on the garage roof, and the other will be sleeping on the dock. You are not to feed each other, change each others' clothes, wash together etc. You are not allowed to go skinny dipping together, nor are you allowed to be naked around each other. These rules are going to be posted somewhere in the cabin, as I'm sure that the other mentors will agree with us." Dinah was watching each of them, and noticed the boy's disappointed looks, and the girl's rather embarrassed expressions.

"Any questions should be asked now." She waited, and became instantly suspicious when Roy's and Wally's faces lit up.

"Do the mentors have to follow these rules too? I mean, since you're 18 and all, with hormones and everything and well, these rules might help, you know?" Roy was smirking, thinking he had scored a point in this conversation. He had forgotten that he was dealing with someone even Batman was afraid of.

"We are still your elders and mentors, what we do is neither your business nor your concern. Our actions aren't under your jurisdiction, and we aren't the reason these rules have been made. If you will excuse me, I am going to go write these down." With that, both mentors simply walked back out the door. The five teens looked at each other, then followed suit.

Meanwhile, the mood on the porch had been rather tense, between the team, who had just found out the identities or Robin and Batman, and the JL who already knew. The silence had stretched for what seemed like years, punctuated only by the occasional yell from the end room. Finally Shayera, ever the practical person, broke it.

"On another topic, Barry did point out a problem. We need food, and we don't have food. Therefore, if Bruce's ever-so useful computer could find a grocery store, perhaps shopping would be a good idea?" She glanced hopefully at the silent people surrounding her, then at Batman, who was already examining a holographic map.

"There's one in town. Whoever goes needs to take one of the cars."

"Cars, there are cars!? When the hell do you Bats notice these things? I know for a fact that you didn't go outside, and I'm pretty sure you don't have cameras, so how do you know there are cars!?" Barry's shout was the first thing heard by the five emerging from the room, which thoroughly confused them. Ollie and Dinah on the other hand, who apparently had super hearing now, had somehow followed the conversation, despite leaving the room only moments before the others.

"Good idea. M'gann, Conner, Wally and Kaldur can go. Roy, Ollie wants to talk to you. The rest of you, rules regarding relationships and general forbidden objects are going to be posted. These rules are for the team, though if the mentors could follow them too, that would be a nice example, don't you think?" Dinah still looked maniacal, so everyone was quick to agree with her. Except Roy.

"What!? We just had a talk, why do I need another one!? I want to go shopping, you do realize the only human being who has gone grocery shopping before in that group is Wally, right? Why should he be allowed to go?" Roy was edging away from Ollie, afraid of being grabbed.

"Because I don't trust you, and when it comes to anything regarding sex, you're worse than Wally, and he may have gotten Artemis pregnant. Why can't you go shopping? Because last time you went shopping, you got banned from a grocery store, kicked out of a pizza place, harassed law enforcement, kidnapped a police officer and got arrested. Wally can't be any worse than that, and he's the reason why one of my mansions was condemned for containing radioactive pizza. That's why." That statement was met with quite a bit of yelling.

"You two had SEX!? Wallace Rudolph West, you wait until your parents hear about this-"

"We did not! Ollie's lying, he only-

"I AM NOT PREGNANT!"

"I've been shopping before . . ."

"What did Roy Joy do to make him worse than Wally?"

"It wasn't my fault M'gann yelled curse words at the police-"

"You were the one who told her fuck meant hi and you're a horrible driver-"

"Don't you start, you were the one who threw the customs officer through a brick wall for doing his job-"

"Ollie, you don't have any proof that we even did anything-"

"Wallace, your mother is going to kill you, what is wrong with you-"

"We did not have sex! I already told you that-"

"Oh yeah, because that's totally what you implied in the other room-"

"I was going to say that Wally had a moment of extreme stupidity and was running his mouth-"

"Sure you were."

"Like you're one to talk-"

"Hey! Subject 1a! I know what you're afraid of Roy-"

"Don't threaten me, I'm-"

"QUIET!" Everyone in the room turned to Dinah, whose eyebrow was now twitching almost as badly as Ollie's usually did. "Roy, go talk with Ollie. Wally, Kaldur, M'gann and Conner, get going. Kaldur, you remember the driving lessons I gave you? Good, because you're driving. No exceptions Wally. Take the minivan, and please buy actually edible food. I don't care if every person in the store hates you, do not get banned from the grocery store or I will personally starve each and every one of you to death. The rest of us are going to figure out sleeping situations. Don't even ask Wally, you know the answer, subject three." The glare that followed sent the four designated shoppers running out the door, made Roy dash happily after Ollie, and caused everyone else to take a good few steps back.

"Now, there are two beds, a futon, two cots, a glider, and a whole lot of sleeping bags. I think two people can fit in each bed head-to-toe, and four can fit on the futon the same way. The only way two people will fit on the glider is if those two people are Dick and Zatanna, and the rest of us are going to have to use the sleeping bags. Figure it out." With that, Dinah turned in the direction Roy and Ollie had gone, apparently deciding they needed supervision to make sure no one died. Silence followed for about five seconds.

"I have noooo problem sleeping with Zee."

"Please phrase that differently, but fine. Robin and Zatanna can have the glider so that we don't waste space."

"Dick stop smirking. You're fourteen."

"I call the futon!"

"I call the futon!"

"No way, Jade, Artemis, you two aren't allowed to sleep with your boyfriends- dammit we need a different way to phrase that."

"Barry! Language!"

"You know what, I was going to ask if I could have a bed, but with all the mentor paranoia, I think I'll just take a cot."

"That's a good idea Raquel, I think we should give the other one to Kaldur."

"We have to sleep head-to-toe anyway, just have Wally and Roy sleep at one end of the bed, and we'll sleep at the other."

"I still don't like that arrangement."

"Well, it follows subject 3, so it's staying."

"What the hell is subject 3?"

"You'll find out."

"I think M'gann and Conner can be trusted to sleep head-to-toe if Wally and Roy can be with their girlfriends."

"I vote we give Dinah and Ollie the other bed!"

"Wouldn't that lead to . . .um, unmentionable activities?"

"Those activities are against the rules, aren't they?"

"Yes to both questions, which is why I proposed the idea."

"I guess the rest of us better get sleeping bags then."

"Should we be worried that no one has emerged from the room where Dinah, Ollie and Roy are?"

 **I'm sorry I'm not updating Symbiosi! I really am! The problem is that this story has a set end, and is a lot easier to write. With Symbiosi, it just kind of goes on and on. It will be updated, eventually. I promise I won't just drop it and delete it, it's just going to be a while. That, or blame school. Next chapter: Shopping, rules, and GO TO BED Next next chapter: Breakfast, frying pans, canoes and the beginning of the end Chapter after that: Girls' Day out, Bongola, Noodle traps and bat glue**

 **Extra Note: There were many, many references to To Truth or to Dare in this story. Read it. I didn't write it. It is awesome and will inspire great things. That, or you will die of excessive laughter. It should be by Frozencake. It is hilarious.**


	6. THE LOBSTERS HAVE GOT TO GO!

Wally had a plan. Not one that any of the adults would approve of, but a plan none the less. Oh, and the shopping list he had been given? Yeah that got thrown in the first waste basket he saw.

"Do we know which store we are purchasing the food from?" Kaldur's question pulled Wally out of his devious thoughts. He looked at the GPS, which showed two different stores from which they could buy food, as well as a pizza place, and ice cream store and a bakery. This was going to be fun. Then Wally saw the name of one of the markets. This was going to be hysterical.

"Yeah, we should buy groceries from the Wonder Market, then get pizza, ice cream and pastries! Oh, and we should probably go to the other grocery store as well because they sell deep fried Oreos!" Wally was grinning.

"I do not believe any of those items were on the lis-"

"They have Oreos? Please Kaldur, I haven't had Oreos in months!"

"That's because you become addicted to them M'gann. They aren't good for you." Conner was worried by the look on his girlfriend's face. Sadly, Wally had decided that he needed to break Roy's record for worst shopping trip ever.

"Of course we can buy Oreos! Did you know they make Oreo ice cream?"

* * *

Wally floored the minivan, turning into the dirt road the cottage was on at breakneck speed. Technically he wasn't supposed to be driving, but Kaldur was lobbing now empty seafood tanks at the pursuing law enforcement, while standing on the roof of the car. That, and Dinah had said no exceptions, but this wasn't an exception. This was Klarion worthy chaos. At least they had the groceries. Along with a sedated martian, a psycho Atlantean-turned-fish-rights-activist, a furious super-clone in nothing but a fuzzy bathrobe yelling about his boots and a frantic red-haired 15 year old speedster who had just realized he was referring to himself in the third person AND a shitload of panicked lobsters. Well, he was pretty sure he broke the record. Then he saw the tree.

She heard the yelling first. Artemis had finally convinced Ollie, that no, she wasn't pregnant, no, Jade wasn't pregnant either, yes, she still had her V-card (Maybe, not that Ollie needed to know), yes, Wally could be responsible, and no, she would not try to crawl under the blankets to sleep next to him. Then what slightly resembled the minivan that had left half an hour ago crawled down the driveway,with Kaldur standing on top of it brandishing a lobster. Artemis face palmed. She knew Ollie was looking at her with that stupid I-told-you-so look he had. Why was her boyfriend such an idiot?

"Wally, why are you driving? I specifically said that you weren't allowed to drive!" Dinah didn't sound happy, and since the minivan was pretty much dead, she had a right to be.

"Yeah, except we had to sedate M'gann, Conner is hiding because he lost his clothes and only has a bathrobe and Kaldur was throwing lobster "cages" at the police. It was I drive, or we all get arrested." Wally gestured at the Atlantean, who was still shouting insults in the direction of the road.

"Why is M'gann sedated? Wait, better question, how do you lose your clothes?"

"Um, Oreo ice cream, macaroni pizza, sushi, cream puff wars, cologne samples, a pie fight and flannel sheets."

"OK, explain that so that the rest of us understand. And how did you end up in a store with cologne samples? You were supposed to buy GROCERIES at the GROCERY store."

"Wally opened his mouth to explain, but was cut off by Conner, who screamed and jumped through the door. Yes, through.

"Those . . . lobsters . . . have . . . to . . . go." He had his legs crossed, since he was still wearing a fluffy bathrobe, and because lobsters have no concept of personal space. Dinah rubbed her temples.

"Start from the beginning. You had better have a good excuse."

"Well, M'gann wanted to go to both grocery stores because one sold Oreos and the other had pretty much every item on the planet-"

"No, you wanted to go to both grocery stores because you wanted to get M'gann to go crazy from eating too many Oreos-"

"Anyway, like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, we went to the Magasin Général, and bought a ton of Oreos. Then M'gann went and bought every single Oreo related product in the entire fucking store. She may or may not have paid for them before she ate them and we may or may not be banned from that grocery store now. Then she went hyper and drove us very, very crazily to the Wonder Market. "

"I have my own market?" Diana looked rather confused. "Is it normal here to name stores after superheroes?"

"I'm sure it's a coincidence. Continue." Batman's eyes were narrowed. He hadn't approved of Dinah's choice for shoppers. He was beginning to suspect that she liked the chaos, not that he'd say it to her face. He was Batman, and Batman liked living and having a face.

"As I was saying, she can't drive-"

"She shouldn't have wanted to drive. SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN GIVEN OREOS!"

"Sheesh, let me talk. So we got there and had to chase a hyper martian around for 20 minutes before actually entering the store. They have like, everything in existence for sale there. Like, everything. Including 30 lb bags of chicken whizzies. They're mine Uncle Barry, touch them and I'll have Dick put a security system around the rest of the food that will let anyone but you eat. Anyway, so, we all went kind of crazy, except for me of course, I was a responsible adult and made sure M'gann didn't kill anyone-"

"Oh that's rich! You took one look at the chicken whizzies and went running through the store like a maniac screaming! I was the one who stayed with M'gann!"

"Do you want me to finish the story or not? Like I was saying, before someone RUDELY interrupted me for like the millionth time, M'gann unfortunately escaped my watchful gaze- "

At this point Conner almost doubled over laughing, then remembered the bathrobe. He managed to remain upright, but was laughing so hard that Wally couldn't be heard.

"WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME TALK?!" Wally was glaring at Conner. He was worried that Conner would request to tell this part, as it involved him in a rather humiliating situation.

"Nope. I'm telling this part."

"You most certainly are not. I'm telling the story. If you wanted to tell it, you should have asked when the role was assigned."

"No, you're telling a grossly edited version of the story which portrays you as a responsible adult who was overruled."

"That's exactly what I was!"

"Please. You were leading the chaos. It's impossible for you to be responsible. "

"Well, I'm an irresponsible person who's telling the story.

"Not this part you aren't. THIS part involves major humiliation for you. You won't tell it correctly."

"Oh, by all means Conner, please elaborate. Especially on the major humiliation part." Dick smirked as Wally went bright red and jumped at his sudden appearance in a director's chair with a bag of popcorn that had conveniently been located in the minivan's open trunk. Conner smirked straight back at him.

"As. You. Wish. So, Wally piled all the chicken whizzies bags in the store up and ran into them, by accident if you believe his side. An employee obviously noticed this, so he had to run away from him. He ran back into M'gann and me, or rather M'gann and Conner the shelf. She then proceeded to drag him all around the store, having him tell her exactly what everything was and try on everything she saw, including several girls' Frozen Elsa Halloween costumes. Sadly, I don't have pictures. Wally found the pizza deli thing in the store and ordered a pizza with literally almost every topping possible on it, including bacon macaroni and deep-fried Oreos. The server guy was about to give it to him when he then told the server that he had changed his order to plain cheese and didn't want the other pizza. The server already hated him because instead of just saying that he wanted everything on it, or everything but coconut, he read through every topping and made the server write down each and every one. The server, upon being told that he had done that for nothing, opened the pizza box and smashed it over Wally's head. It should also be noted that at this point Wally was wearing an old fashioned soldier's costume that M'gann had found. We weren't able to return it because of the cranberry stains. Nor do we have it anymore, it was used to temporarily blind pursuing law enforcement. Anyway, I got angry at Wally, at this point for very understandable reasons, and ended up chasing him through the store. We accidentally forgot about M'gann and she, well, I'll come back to that. Anyway, I chased Wally all the way to the frozen foods section, on the other side of the store. He start throwing frozen cream puffs at me, to which I may have thrown them back at him. It took about 5 minutes for someone to call an employee and then we had to run again. So I ended up chasing him again, all the way around to some other part of the store that apparently sells pies and cologne. I don't understand it either. Wally started throwing pies, not at me, but at the pursuing employees. And the other customers. He started a full out pie brawl which required the entire staff to end. I don't know how long it took. We ran like hell out of there before we got arrested. Some obnoxious person started spraying cologne samples in my face, and I lost it. Apparently, I lost my clothes because I collapsed three shelves and ran through the greenhouse section with holly bushes for sale. All I remember is waking up with a tulip in my ear wearing a fluffy bathrobe. We realized that we had now left M'gann alone on Oreo high for way past too long and started following the screams. We found her floating around trailing flannel sheets behind her like giant purple capes and sprinkling people with olives. They sell tranquilizer guns there. I think they also sell monkeys, which makes the tranquilizer guns make sense. We had to shoot her with one of the darts, because she was now making cupcakes rain down on people. Then we realized we hadn't seen Kaldur since we arrived. We eventually found him in the fish aisle, with a cart that was stocked to the brim with items from the shopping list. He had somehow fished it out from the trash can and taped it to the handle of the cart. At this point though, any calm, cool, collected Kaldur was gone. He was in the fish aisle freeing lobsters. And throwing fish fillets and octopus salad at anyone who got too close to him. He saw us, and calmly collected the empty lobster tanks, put the now free lobsters inside a giant water bubble, and began walking towards the checkout. We never made it because someone called the cops, so we had to flee. The minivan was accidentally crashed into a tree by Wally and the lobsters are still in there, with the exception of the ones Kaldur stuffed down his sweatshirt." The entire team, and the JL members present stared at Conner and Wally. Finally, Roy broke the silence.

"Well, I think I can officially turn the record over to Wally."

 **A/N I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY! I know I'm a horrible person who doesn't update. I would like to blame school, school, Youtube, school, and Donald Trump. I think that at this point I should just say that I'm going to update about once a month. At that point, I feel so guilty that I just have to update. I'M SORRY! I will say this, the more reviews I get, even if they just say UPDATE, the faster I will update. Probably. Yell at Donald Trump and my teachers if I don't. Also, I'm sorry I didn't get to Rules or GO TO BED. The shopping was longer than I thought it would be.**

 **A sad note to all readers of Symbiosi. This story is going to be on hiatus for a little bit because I'm having trouble writing it. I AM NOT DELETING IT! I promise I will work on it one day. I'm not such a horrible person that I'm going to leave you on that gigantic of a cliffhanger though, so I'll try to write a short chapter so that one of you doesn't murder me in my sleep with a shrimp fork.**


	7. Poor Wally, Watch Out Roy

Artemis was getting impatient. The porch was nice, but one could only tan for so long before becoming bored and hot. Sadly, before he was dragged off by Batman and Dinah, Wally's last words had been "Don't go swimming or eat without me! And tell my parents I love them!" Leave it to Wally to have his priorities in order. Artemis yawned. She was really getting tired of waiting. Why couldn't she have chosen a normal boyfriend? Why had she chosen the crazy, annoying, flirtatious, speedster who she wanted to throw out of a window half the time? She honestly didn't know. Anymore than she knew why she didn't really care that Roy was dating her sister, but was more upset that Jade didn't think it was important enough to trust her with. Ughh. Artemis decided that the sun was messing with her brain. Zee raised her head and blinked.

"Are they still torturing KF? You'd think they would have run out of things to do."

"They're not torturing him, Zee. Just lecturing him." Artemis glanced at the closed door to the end room, which had somehow become the lecture room.

"But it's Batman who's lecturing him. That counts as torture." Zatanna pointed out.

"Nope. Probably Dinah who's lecturing. Bats is just there for extra scare-enforcement. Wally's been lectured by Batman too many times for it to be scary enough to stop him from being Wally. Dinah on the other hand . . . " Dick, who Artemis had only now noticed lying on the glider, shuddered. He glanced at her. "Are you going to kill me now, or can I stay on glider and apologize for not telling you who I was?" Artemis rolled her eyes. For a 14 year old, he was almost worse than Wally and Roy combined.

"I'm too lazy to kill you right now, so I'll accept your apology. However, you aren't off the hook. Watch your back Grayson."

"I'll accept those terms. So, how long do you think your _boyfriend_ will be traumatized for? I'm betting a few hours, then he'll do something worthy of another lecture." Artemis glared at him. She didn't usually mind people calling Wally her boyfriend, but the way Dick said it made her skin crawl. She blamed Wally and his "nothing I haven't seen before comment".

"With your help. The two of you have caused more damage than the Joker." Zee raised an eyebrow.

"Well, naturally, I mean, look at me. And I wouldn't go that far, but I think we're a close second if you include Roy."

"Don't quote Friends with Benefits to me, Grayson. I'm still tempted to skin you alive."

"Hey did you ever notice that ceased _isn't_ the opposite of deceased? I mean, if someone is ceased, they're basically deceased. It should be the other way around. Ceased should alive, or existing, or deceased should mean that. You can't have a word with the prefix for not or opposite and the word and have them mean the same thing. English is weird."

"Romani is weird too Dick, it's not like foreign languages are going to make sense in two seconds of learning them." Zatanna had put the book she had found down and was apparently in the mood to talk. Artemis was in the mood to drag Wally out of the room and dump him in the lake, punishment served or not. Then maybe the rest of the team could actually go swimming, since again, it wasn't exactly freezing out.

"Yeah, but Romani makes sense. English has all these rules that it doesn't follow most of the time. I mean, the rule for "i before e except after c" has exception listed in the rules, but then there's another 900 or so words that don't have the "ay" sound, and they don't follow it. Weird doesn't, and neither does neither. Why have the rule if it doesn't fit the majority of the language?"

"I don't know. That's why I speak backwards." Artemis was listening to this conversation with increasing incredulity. You would think someone would have warned Zee about arguing with Dick by this point.

"English backwards is still English. I win." And now he was smirking. Pefect. Just fucking perfect.

"Win what? You make less sense than English."

"Nope. I'm crazy, but I follow rules."

"What rules?"

"The Bat Rules. The Terribly Important Official Book Of Bat And Alfred Rules, or TTIOBOBAAR." Artemis was about to warn Zee not to ask, but was a millisecond too late.

"And what would those be?" Damn it.

"And here we go again. Yay." Artemis rolled her eyes as Dick took a huge breath.

"Again?" **(See bottom of the page. FF won't load the paragraph.)**

"ENOUGH! We don't need to hear every rule you have to follow. You already told the rest of the team all 281, you don't have to put Zee through that." Dick blinked.

"Oh. Sorry. I've had to list them all to Wally and Roy before. They're used to understanding speed speak."

"What's this? Is the world's greatest troll actually apologizing? And sincerely? This is a day for the history books!" Roy had appeared in the doorway to the porch, a beer bottle in his hand.

"You aren't supposed to be drinking. Or in only swim trunks."

"And you aren't supposed to be in a bikini. Wally been released from prison yet?" Roy not only completely ignored the fact that Artemis was glaring at him, but continued to steal her chips.

"Those are mine Harper. I will tell Dinah. You know she trusts me more than you. Take a wild guess as to who's going to be in trouble when she comes out from interrogating Baywatch." Roy sighed in defeat and gave her back the bag of Sunchips.

"Whatever, _Arty_. OW! Jeez, you don't have to kick hard enough to break bones." Artemis smiled sweetly.

"Just giving you a friendly reminder about that nickname, Roy, my _dear_ brother." Artemis's voice was dripping with sarcasm, which made Roy scoot a few inches in the opposite direction. When Artemis was sarcastic, it was never a good idea to piss her off. However, he was saved from any pain he would have endured by Wally finally stumbling out of the room, looking as if he had actually been tortured. He quite literally collapsed onto the towel Artemis had been on before she had gotten up to retrieve her chips from Roy. He was trying to say something, but all they could make out was "Help . . .Artemis . . .Dinah . . .scary . . .rules . . .being posted . . .", which made very little sense, apart from the "Dinah scary" part. At that very moment, Dinah's voice was heard, calling everyone to the porch. Roy instantly stuffed the now empty beer bottle under a glider cushion and grabbed a t-shirt off the railing from where it had been drying. Artemis smirked at the nervous look on his face, but apparently he was too concerned that Dinah would smell the alcohol on his breath to open his mouth and get back at her. Dinah appeared on the porch, looking no less frazzled than she was before "talking" to Wally.

"I have here a sheet of rules, which the team is to follow. I hope," Here she looked at Ollie and Barry, "that the League will not require a separate set. Please listen carefully.

Rule 1. Wally, Artemis, Jade and Roy, any rule that was discussed between us that is not mentioned on this list must still be followed, no exceptions.

Rule 2. Since we are trying to be inconspicuous, we are going to have to _share_ a meal. This means that you will be given a portion, and you will eat only that portion. The portions will be adjusted to fit certain people, but those people are not entitled to eat the entire meal themselves.

Rule 3. All League members are still the adults. It doesn't matter that our ages have been decreased, you will regard us as the authority figures we are.

Rule 4. There is to be no sexual behavior of any kind. None. We don't care if you're "technically an adult" Roy, this rule has no exceptions.

Rule 5. Powers are not to be used out on the water in daylight, and only extremely minimally at night. If you wish to use telekinesis while boating, make sure it isn't obvious. THAT IS THE _**ONLY**_ EXCEPTION.

Rule 6. Shopping trips will now always include a League chaperone.

Rule 7. You are not to consume alcohol. Yes, Roy, that includes you.

Rule 8. You are to wear clothing while sleeping. You are not to go skinny dipping.

Rule 9. If you are assigned a chore, you complete said chore. No complaining.

Rule 10. You are to respect the other people who live on this lake.

Rule 11. These rules may be changed or updated as our stay continues.

Rule 12. You will adhere to these rules. ALL OF THEM." Dinah paused and forced every member of the team, as well as Roy and Cheshire, to make eye contact.

"Do I make myself clear?" A chorus of yeses answered her, and a muffled "eh henh" from Wally, who was still facedown on a towel.

ಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬಬ

Apparently, the chores rule was in immediate effect. They were told they were not allowed to go swimming, but had to help unpack, put away the food and other assorted items, wake M'gann up, set up the beds, etc. There was much grumbling, but you needed super hearing or telepathy to hear it. Wally jumping at every small noise and shaking constantly served as a very effective warning to the rest of the team about crossing Dinah. The woman was scary. Artemis had been forced to put a t-shirt over her bikini, which she had had no time to change out of yet. Roy had almost managed to get away with wearing his swim trunks, until Dinah had bumped into him and had realized his t-shirt was damp, and proclaimed him a proud mathlete. Then he got another lecture. Artemis was ready to knock his head together with Wally's and be done with it. Or maybe go to sleep for a few days, then knock their heads together. Either way, they needed to watch their backs. Well, maybe she'd spare Wally. He had suffered enough. _Roy, you're dead. Watch your back, and every other part of your body. Or else._

 **A/N I'm sorry the chapter didn't cover everything I said it would, again. I'M SORRY! I swear to the Goddamn Batman that I'm working on the chapter for Symbiosi I said I would post. It's going to be a long one. Here is what Dick said:**

 **"** **Rule number one 1 is that you always have your utility belt no matter where you are in case of a crisis. Rule number two is that you do not kill because it makes you no better than the criminals you fight. Rule number three is that you never ever reveal your secret identity to anyone without Batman's permission because it puts the people you care about in danger. Rule number four is that you always listen to Alfred because he is the best Bat there is and he helped Bruce when he was a child and he's our medic and the reason we don't have to check into the hospital every other night. Rule number five is that the recipe for Alfred's cookies is a secret and isn't told to anyone. Rule number six is that we work with Catwoman on occasion but do not support her or loan her money. Rule number seven is that we do not use guns. Rule number eight is-"**

 **A final note: Some people are annoyed when you correct their grammar and spelling. I am not one of those people. PLEASE, IF YOU SEE A MISTAKE, TELL ME! I try to make sure that I don't have random capital letters, or misspelled words, or whatever, but I'm not perfect.**

 **Moodles: She isn't.**

 **Me: Shut up. Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW! I'm begging you!**

 **Moodles: Tell her how terrible she is!**

 **Me: Quiet, if I wanted your opinion I would send it to you. If I had no brain, I'd even give you editing rights. I'll try to update more often, but my semester is ending in school, so the teachers think they should try and drown us in work. I promise, and I will give out my address so that you can stab me to death with a shrimp fork if I break this promise, that if I get seven reviews for this chapter within a week, I'll update before the end of the month. I swear to Batman, I will. Just, PLEASE REVIEW!**

 **Moodles: I'll review.**

 **Me: Thank you Mood-**

 **Moodles: I'll tell you how terrible you are, and where the nearest shrimp fork is.**

 **Me: You are a rude, mean, bad person!**

 **Moodles: No, I'm just naturally evil.**

 **Me: That you are, that you are.**

 **Update 1/15: PLEASE REVIEW! I really mean it about the update before the end of the month! That's like, a million times sooner than I usually do! PLEASE! Moodles, PUT THE SHRIMP FORK DOWN! You don't get to stab me.**


	8. I CAN'T HEAR THE PILLOW'S INNER VOICE!

Dinah had posted the list of rules on the wall in the large middle room. Mainly because it was the only room with walls high enough to keep the rules from trailing on the floor. And yes, every single one of them had to be followed. Dick and Wally were currently copying the rule "I will not get the League drunk so that we don't have to follow these rules" over and over again onto different pieces of paper. Batman was supervising. (They had been overheard formulating a plan for this. Within two minutes of the rules being posted.) Roy was somewhere in the woods, tied to a tree, shouting. Or rather, he _was_ shouting, until Ollie marched back to the random tree, and gagged him. Apparently the lecture hadn't gone well. Wally had muttered something about tying Ollie to a tree, and had been nearly strangled because the aforementioned comment had been made in range of the aforementioned Ollie's hearing. (I just love the word aforementioned. Not sure why I needed to specify which Ollie it was, but the aforementioned reasonless comment was probably made because of the aforementioned love of the word aforementioned. DId I mention that I love the word aforementioned? It should be noted this is being typed at 2 in the morning after 2 cups of coffee.)

Unpacking had taken about 2 hours, if you include calming Kaldur down and figuring out what to do with the lobsters as part of the unpacking. There was also the fact that Barry felt the need to go crazy every time he found a food he liked, M'gann still hadn't woken up and Roy was . . . occupied, so they were down two people, and Wally (along with everyone else) was avoiding Ollie like the plague. None of them wished to become better acquainted with a tree. Barry had suggested throwing him in the lake, or locking him in a closet until he had stopped being homicidal. Shayera wished him luck in doing so and remaining the owner of his arms, legs and head. Barry had decided his energy could be better expended on other activities. Eventually, despite the homicidal maniac storming around the cabin, they did manage to unpack food, random unnecessary things, and whatever it was Wally and Dick spirited away before any adult could see it. In fact, they were standing looking at the unpacked car ruins smiling, with the exception of Ollie, who was scowling, and Roy, who was . . .absent, when it hit them. Dinner. They had to make dinner.

* * *

"BARRY SO HELP ME IF YOU TAKE ONE MORE PIECE OF FOOD I WILL BEAT YOU SENSELESS WITH A FRYING PAN FULL OF MUSHROOMS!" Dinah whipped towards where the speedster had been a second ago, to find herself brandishing a hot frying pan at empty air.

"YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!" Barry was already in the woods. He leaned against the tree he had stopped at and began eating the hot dog bun he had stolen. It was only when he heard muffled cursing he turned and saw Roy tied to the tree three or four feet away from him, still tied and gagged.

"Whups. We forgot you were out here, sorry." Barry cheerfully recounted (read: rambled on forever about food) all that Roy had missed while untying him.

" . . .so we decided Megan, or does she prefer M'gann, I'll have to ask her later, and Dinah, she's calmed down a little bit but I think I irritated her when I started stealing food, should do the inside cooking with the stove and oven, because they know how and have experience. Megan, I'm just going to call her Megan, usually produces edible food now, right? Anyway, Bruce, it feels weird to call him that, I'm going to call him Bats I think, it sounds more natural, is helping Clark, that sounds weird too, I'm going to call him Supes, like I usually do, it's kind of weird how similar their nicknames are, grill stuff like hot dogs, I love hot dogs, and hamburgers and kebabs, dinner is going to be awesome, because we have like five million people and Wally and I eat a lot of food, but you already know that, and Shayera and Diana, it feels weird to call her Diana, but Wonder Woman feels weird too, I don't know, I'll just call her Diana, are helping with extra preparations and Artemis and Robin are chipping in, did you know he can cook, you probably did being his friend and all, I bet Alfred taught him, now there's a _cook_ , that guy is really good, and I think Kaldur and Conner, I think he goes by Conner, I've heard Wally call him SB but I'm going with Conner and I'll change it if I have too, moved the large table onto the porch and the small table that was on the porch inside the main room, and I think the rest of the team is helping set up the beds and stuff. Ollie was really freaking out about the fact that Wally is allowed to sleep in the same bed as Artemis, I think he's worried he's going to, I don't even know, I really have to get the truth out of him about what they've done, but Dinah calmed him down somehow and now-" At this point Roy cut him off, before the urge to plug his ears and run overtook him.

"Where's Ollie." It wasn't stated as a question, and Barry took a step back at the look of anger on Roy's face.

"Dinah sent him on a walk to cool off, you should really let it go, you can help with dinner . . . " His voice trailed off.

"HE TIED ME TO A FUCKING TREE!" Roy was seething. He hadn't even _done_ anything. OK, maybe he had said that Ollie shouldn't be lecturing him on what he could do because they were the same age now, and that it was a wonder Ollie hadn't screwed up and gotten Dinah pregnant yet, but still. That was no reason to tie him to a tree!

"Roy," Barry grabbed his shoulder. "If you go after Ollie, Dinah will do worse than tie you to a tree." Roy shook off his hand and stalked off towards the cabin muttering less than complimentary things about a certain archer.

Artemis barely noticed when Roy stormed past her, muttering about tying Ollie to an angry cassowary. Why had she volunteered to help with dinner? Why, when they asked if anyone else was any good at preparing food, had she said yes? Now, she was stuck chopping onions with tears running down her face. Then she had to chop up the rest of the vegetables. Robin had managed to weasel his way out of actually doing something, ending up with the responsibility of tossing the salad. Then again, maybe that was a good thing, considering Diana had actually tried tossing the salad bowl. Artemis had given up trying to point out how tossing a salad only required about 1 minute, not an hour, as Dick had cut her off each time. However, it got worse when Roy appeared next to her again, still grumbling.

"And what, exactly, are _you_ doing to help Roy Joy?" Artemis paused in her onion chopping to glare at him.

"First of all, you people left me tied to a tree. A fucking tree. FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS! And now I've been told to help you cut up vegetables and chicken into kebab pieces. Deal with it." Roy picked up a pepper and began cutting.

"You're doing it wrong. You have to cut it this way, then in half. Otherwise the pieces are all weird." Roy growled at her. Actually growled as he practically threw the pepper at her.

"You do it if you're so good at it Miss Know it All. I'll take the onion." Artemis's sigh was passed off as exasperation, though in reality was relief, as her eyes really did sting.

"Can't even cut a pepper. Remind why they put you on the League?" The thunk of the knife Roy was using sounded as he swung it so hard it bit into the cutting board.

"Yeesh. Who thought you should be allowed near knives? You look like you're about to kill someone. And those pieces of onion are too small."

"I'm about to kill _you._ AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE STUPID ONIONS!" Artemis smiled sweetly at him, knowing it would cause further infuriation on his part. Damn. Wally must be rubbing off on her.

"Someone must have lectured you on your language Roy Joy! I've never heard you be so polite! And you should give a damn about the onions because if they're that small they'll burn, and if I have to eat a burnt onion, I'll tell Ollie Jade's pregnant with triplets." They glared at each other for almost a full thirty seconds before Dinah stuck her head out of the kitchen and yelled.

"I DON'T HEAR KNIVES ON CUTTING BOARDS! IF YOU WANT TO SIT ON YOUR ASSES, YOU CAN DO SO DURING DINNER INSTEAD OF EATING!" Chopping was hastily resumed. At this point, they wouldn't put it past Dinah to keep them from eating for the full two months. Hell, at this point, they wouldn't put anything past her. Between Ollie, Wally and Roy, the poor woman had reached her breaking point. Artemis and Roy resorted to passively aggressively flicking tiny pieces of onion at each other. Artemis decided the people setting up the sleeping arrangements had gotten the better deal.

Wally had a decidedly different opinions. He'd give anything to be chopping onions. Instead, he was being sent back and forth across the cabin on a scavenger hunt to find all the sheets, blankets, pillows, pillowcases etc. And because Zatanna, Raquel and Conner were the other people helping with this chore, Conner was a shelf, and the girls were in an argument about the affect on the Feng Shui of the room that a blanket caused. Unbeknownst to him or Conner, the girls had decided to be as annoying and girly as possible simply to drive them crazy. Wally had run the same pillow from room to room for the past five minutes, which in speedster time, is like, forever, and they hadn't even started sorting the packed suitcases that had appeared. Maybe the people preparing the food were angry and harried, but he was bored out of his mind and miserable, which is never a good combination when you're Wally.

"The stitching on it doesn't match the stitching on the pillows! It's better in the other room!"

"Well, all the other pillows in there are straight cornered rectangles, and this is a curve cornered square, like the pillows in here. It goes better in this room and it contributes better to the Feng Shui in here too!" Wally thought his head was going to explode.

"WILL YOU PEOPLE MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!? IT'S A PILLOW NOT A MIDDLE EAST PEACE NEGOTIATION!" Zatanna and Raquel turned to stare at him for about five seconds, then went right back to arguing.

"Ughh!" Wally threw his hands up in exasperation, dropping the pillow. This, as it turns out, was a big mistake.

"Now it's all dusty and dirty. We're going to have to vacuum it later. We'll just have to use this pillow in its place in here." Zatanna pulled another pillow from the bin Conner was holding.

"No, that's all wrong. That one's color is all wrong with this one! It's carnation pink, and this one is pink popsicle. They clash and it throws off the whole room!" Raquel managed to clamp down on the laughter she had been holding in this whole time and assumed a genuinely upset expression, as if the coloring of the pillows truly distressed her.

"Well, the only other one I can find is banana yellow and that goes horribly with pink popsicle too." Zatanna had also assumed a distressed expression, though internally, she was rolling on the floor laughing at the dismayed look on Wally's face."

"Now this is just a suggestion, but couldn't you, just maybe, PUT ON A PILLOWCASE OR USE THE FIVE MILLION WHITE COLORLESS PILLOWS IN THE BIN!?" Wally was actually shaking.

"No, the pillows in there are white opal and that doesn't go with the bedspread. I suppose we could use pillowcases, but those have patterns and that will just make everything worse." Raquel seemed to be deep in thought about pillowcases.

"Don't you have to put on the pillowcases anyway?" Wally was almost afraid to ask. He didn't want to listen to them argue about patterns.

"Well, yes. But the inner voice of the pillow has to speak to the Feng Shui of the room as well. To quell its voice is to disrupt the balance of everything. The pillowcase is but an outer skin for-" Wally cut Zatanna off.

"It's a fucking pillow! It doesn't have a voice, inner or outer!"

"Of course it has a voice! Why wouldn't it?" Raquel appeared insulted.

"Because, and listen very carefully, IT IS A GODDAMN PILLOW!" Wally shook the said pillow in the girls' faces.

"You have 30 minutes before dinner! Hurry up!" Shayera's yell made all of them jump as she walked back into the main room.

"Right. Raquel, can you get the pillowcases? We'll put them on and Wally can distribute them through the rooms. Then we'll do the sheets." Zatanna took the pillow from Wally and yanked a random pillowcase out of a bin and onto the aforementioned pillow.

"Wha . . . bu . . .you . . were . . Feng Shui . . .." His voice trailed off as Zatanna looked at him like he was insane. He managed to stop sputtering and find his voice.

"You were going on about the inner voice of pillows . . . " Zatanna was now staring at him with an extremely concerned expression.

"What the hell are you talking about? Are you feeling OK?" Wally turned to look at Conner.

"Back me up here! You heard them!" Conner shook his head.

"I've been tuning all of this out. I have no idea what you're talking about." Wally gave up. Maybe he was going crazy.

It took only ten minutes to get the rest of the bedding done, between magic, super strength and superspeed, and fifteen to get the suitcases sorted. Zatanna surveyed their work with a critical eye, noting the beds, sleeping bags, and suitcases. She'd had Wally label each one with a note with the owner's name upon it, to prevent a civil war from breaking out.

"Well, we finished. Though I can't quite hear the true sound of that pillow-"

"AGHHHHHHHHH!" Wally ran to the nearest wall and began banging his head against it. Zatanna and Raquel lasted about two minutes before they burst out laughing.

"You . . .actually . . thought . . .we were . . . serious! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" Raquel was doubled over and Zatanna was actually rolling on the floor laughing. Wally's face was practically the color of a tomato.

"YOU PUT ME THROUGH ALL OF THAT AS A _JOKE_!?" He was sputtering at this point. Wally finally gave up and just walked out of the room . . . .and almost smack into Artemis as she went to tell them dinner was ready.

"Hey Beautiful. Need help with dinner?" He was well aware Dinah was in eyeshot of them, which made him wary of kissing or touching her.

"No. It's ready. They need help bringing the stuff out to the table. Do me a favor and kill Roy OK?" She kissed his cheek and proceeded to go inform Zatanna, Raquel and Conner of the fact that their help was required.

* * *

Dinner was not peaceful. Peaceful would imply it didn't start out as feeling like the slightest mistake would set a bomb off, and end with said bomb going off. After getting teleported to Canada, dealing with crazy superpowered teenagers and cooking dinner, Dinah was at the end of her rope. Completely. She was hanging on by a thread, and decided to let everyone know it by giving them a smile the Joker would have been proud of. Ollie was sulking at the end of the table Roy was farthest from, (this was intentional) Artemis was still glaring daggers at Roy, who was glaring at Ollie, Wally's eyes were darting nervously back and forth between Ollie and the angry gaze of his girlfriend while Dick and Jade were acting as if nothing were wrong.

"M'gann, this is delicious! And the flavor's strong enough to disguise the taste of arsenic too!" Jade's comment caused Barry to immediately spit out the potato salad he had just shoveled into his mouth.

"I'm kidding. If I wanted to poison you, I'd use iocane powder and put it in your water." Barry, unfortunately, had just taken a drink of the water.

"Jade, quit trying to make us think you want to kill us. You realize we could just hand you over to the police and have them escort you to prison back in the U.S. if we wanted to, right?" Artemis ceased her glaring at Roy to give her sister an exasperated look.

"No, actually, you can't." Jade realized a second too late that she had just damned herself.

"Oh? I think we we could manage to restrain you, between some of the League's most powerful members and the entire team." Artemis, to prove the fact that she was completely unintimidated by her sister, took a long drink of water.

"I think she means we literally can't, don't you Jaaaaaaade? You're stuck here just like the rest of us, aren't you?" The look of barely contained laughter on Dick's face warned Jade of the consequences should she reveal the truth.

"Of course not. You don't really think I'm stupid enough to get caught in one of Klarion's spells, do you?" Unlike the team, Jade had never learned not to argue with the Troll.

"Then how'd you get here? And why haven't you left?" Dick's grin was just getting bigger and bigger.

"Stop antagonizing the assassin. It doesn't matter whether she's stuck here or not." Fortunately for Jade, Batman was one of the few League members Dick would listen to without protest. For the most part.

"I'm just trying to have some innocent dinner conversation Bruce. Otherwise we'll just be sitting here watching the glare triangle between the archers." Dick tried his best to smile innocently.

"Like anything you do is innocent." Conner scoffed.

"You wound me, dear friend!" Dick clapped a hand to his chest. "How your words pierce my heart and-"

"Would you shut up? I'm trying to eat my food, not listen to a bad imitation of Shakespeare." Artemis had shifted the direction of her glare to Dick.

"Artemis! We're having dinner. Be polite." Dinah snapped.

"Fine. Would you please cease and desist the vocalization of pestilential imitations of the Bard while we consume sustenance?" Artemis's smile was far from friendly.

"Of course my dear friend! As soon as you cease and desist of vocalizing in the manner of an elderly English teacher who's slightly out of touch with reality!" DIck was in full troll mode now.

"Perhaps I'll cease and desist of it after I've impaled your ear with this lovely fork." Artemis spun the fork deftly between her fingers, a contemplative look on her face.

"You know Arty, just because _your_ family can't get through dinner without weapons, doesn't mean that normal people can't. You should really curb your temper." Roy smirked at the look of absolute fury on the archer's face as she turned to him.

"Like you're one to talk about curbing a temper Roy." Ollie snapped from the end of the table.

"Or being normal.. ." Dick muttered just loud enough for him to hear.

"And DON'T call me Arty." Artemis snarled at him. She was privately hoping he would, just so that she'd have a reason to throw the fork. She was getting really sick of his attitude.

"Or what Arrrrrtyy? You're so touchy today. Must be that time of mon- AHH!" Roy ducked just fast enough to dodge the fork and steak knife that followed it, though the knife still nicked his arm. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough to dodge Zatanna's spell.

"Hctorc eht ni mih kcik!" The magician might not have had her friend's temper, but Roy was pushing it. Roy's high pitched yelp echoed off the walls as he doubled over out of his chair, unfortunately taking a salad bowl with him. The only reason he wasn't being beaten black and blue by Artemis was that Wally had managed to grab her arms and was attempting to calm her down.

" . . . bastard! I'm going to shove an arrow up your sorry as-mmmmmph!" Wally clapped his hand over his girlfriend's mouth before her curses could get any worse. Roy managed to recover his feet and threw a handful of grilled eggplant at Zatanna.

"That fucking hur-" He was cut off by Dick shoving potato salad in his face.

"FOOD FIGHT!" The young Bat was bored. And a bored Dick is a recipe for disaster.

Roy decided to ignore the troll and get Artemis. After all, she couldn't duck out of the way with Wally pinning her arms. He grabbed the bowl of potato salad and flung a spoonful of it straight at her face. What he had not anticipated was her ducking and twisting so that it hit Wally in the face, causing him to yelp and let go of Artemis. Roy had about two seconds to think " _Oh shit"_ before Artemis vaulted over the table and tackled him, attempting to knock him unconscious with a salad spoon.

Wally really hadn't meant to him Ollie in the face with a hamburger. He'd been aiming for Dick, who had jumped out of the way at the last second. Now he was desperately dodging edible projectiles being thrown by the archer. He was trying to watch Ollie in case he got ahold of something more dangerous than a hot dog, which was why he tripped over Artemis and Roy, still rolling around on the floor, and ended up on top of Artemis . . .with his face in a less than appropriate position on her chest.

"Sorry! Sorrysorrysorrysorrysor-!" His torrent of apologies was cut off by Ollie grabbing the back of his shirt and dragging the scrabbling speedster off his protege. Wally glanced at Ollie's seething, hamburger grease covered face and managed a weak smile.

"Sorry?" Ollie didn't look appeased. However, realizing that keeping her boyfriend from being stabbed with a fork was a higher priority than Roy, Artemis swung her foot into the back of Ollie's knee, causing him to stumble and release Wally, who promptly disappeared.

Dinah stared at what had been, moments ago, an almost passable dinner. Now Dick and Conner were having a war with grilled eggplant, M'gann was levitating food and dropping it on people thinking it was a fun game, Superman was muttering sadly in the corner with Batman standing silently behind him, Zatanna was creating more food with spells, Rocket was laughing and throwing hotdog rolls at Kaldur, Jade was throwing any food she could reach at anyone in sight, Roy and Artemis were still rolling around on the floor, Ollie was chasing Wally with an ear of corn, Barry was running around trying to salvage the food and her own normally level-headed teammates Shayera and Diana were laughing and throwing salad at each other. Dinner was officially a failure.

 **A/N So, yeah, I'm not dead. I am really, really, really, really, really, (repeat until Batman isn't awesome) sorry. I got caught up with school for the second part of the year, and then during the Summer I was lazy. So I am very very sorry. Thank you so much to Guest for continuing to ask me to continue. That kind of reminded me just how annoying it is when an author just straight up disappears, and that that was what I had done. So again, sorry. I'll try to be more consistent. I'm doing my best to update Symbiosi, but I've learned not to make promises. The next chapter probably won't be as long, but I'll try. Please review, it really helps! And now, I'm being told by Moodles to "Post the effing chapter" before she shows up at the door with a katana.**


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